I know I can’t be the only one who thinks that waiting sucks.

Maybe you’re waiting for that job promotion, or a new job entirely. Maybe you’re waiting for that baby to arrive, or waiting to get pregnant. Maybe you’re waiting for prince charming to show up already, or waiting for your marriage to get out of that rut it’s in.

There’s a lot to be waiting on. And when it comes to things that we have no control over…it sucks.
As an English major in college I’m trying to find a better word than sucks (also as a mom who can’t let her kid say that word) but I’ve got nothing. Because it’s true you guys.

Waiting sucks. 

I’ve been doing the She Reads Truth Romans study and came across this the other day:

I’m not sure if you’re waiting for something, but let that all sink in.

I am. I’m waiting and have been waiting for something for a little bit now. I groan each time it doesn’t happen. I groan every time I see someone else get what I want. What I’ve been waiting for.

That’s the worst part too. Seeing other people get what we want. And we’re surrounded by it every day thanks to social media. I won’t sit here and say I don’t have my days where I wallow in self pity. When I ask God, “Ok, but I’ve been really trying to get that and they weren’t. Why do they get it so easily?”

And while I haven’t heard God speak the words exactly to me, I know He’s saying, “Because that’s not what I have for you right now, Megan.” 

And maybe I’m the only one who does this too, but then I start to do the, “Why can’t you just be happy with what you have?” thing with myself. Almost as if I’m asking too much right now, because what I do have is enough.

I keep reminding myself that God is a good, good Father. He sees me. He knows my heart and He knows the desires I have even before I speak them out load. Romans paints a beautiful picture of what hope in Jesus means and looks like. It’s a book I’ve read before, but this time around, it’s different. God’s cool like that.

I’m identifying so much with Paul this time around. When he grumbles about sinning (chapter 7), telling us that he wants to not sin, but does. I get that. I want to put all my trust in God, but I still try to do it all on my own. I don’t want to cry or be super envious of someone else when they get what I’ve been praying for months about…but I do. Paul tells us that we’re going to suffer.

This life with Christ, is and will never be a cake walk.

But we have this hope. 

And that hope in the One true God will give us peace.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. -Romans 8:25

I know that Gods timing is much much better than mine. And I know that just asking and praying for what I want doensn’t mean it will happen tomorrow. My whole life I’ve always thanked God for having a plan better than mine. Looking back whenever God set me on a different path than what I had wanted it wasn’t easy. Tears were shed. My heart hurt.

But.

God.

He had a better plan.

So right now, I know that what I’m waiting for will happen one day. It just might not be the day I had imagined.

If you’re waiting like me, try really really hard to believe that truth. God loves us so much and He’s got us.

If there’s one thing that I am absolutely sure of, it’s that God equips us for the things He’s called us to.

I was reading Jeremiah the other day and found myself thinking over and over again, “Yeah, bro. I get it”.
God called Jeremiah to be a prophet, He knew long before Jeremiah was born that this was the call He had for his life. Scripture tells us that God was clear with this one.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” -Jeremiah 1:5

Jeremiah’s response was the same one I have, “God you’ve got to be kidding. Not me.” (paraphrased by me)
His response is just so…human.

I can’t really imagine, though, having a conversation with God, actually hearing Him speak to me and saying, “Yeah, but I can’t.” I like to think I’d be smart enough to just nod along, because hello. It’s God.

But Jeremiah is me. Maybe he’s you.

God calls him, tells him exactly what He wants him to do with his life and still he answers, “But maybe something different”.

He tells God he’s too young, and doesn’t know how to speak to people like that. He was afraid to speak these words God was giving him because they were unpopular at the time, no one wanted to hear them.

I often give God some excuses to.

I’m just a mom.
I don’t have time.
I need more sleep.
No one is listening/reading.
Little old me can’t make that big of a dent.

God equipped Jeremiah. Verse 17 in chapter one almost makes me laugh.
God says, “Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you.” (NIV)
“But you-up on your feet and get dressed for work! Stand up and say your piece. Say exactly what I tell you to say.” (MSG)

Just like Jeremiah, God has called us into things in our lives. Maybe it’s preaching, or writing, or being a mother, or starting a non-profit, or being a youth leader. Whatever it is, God has equipped us.

We just have to get up, get dressed and start the work.

It’s tough, I know. But we have to let the presence of God in our lives, overcome any excuse we have or any fear we’re holding on to. Because friend, when we let God use us, glory filled Kingdom come things start to happen.

I’ve recently said yes to something big. And scary.
But my prayer over and over again has just been for God to equip me. To use me for His glory. That this big exciting thing I’ve said yes to would have His name all over it, and not mine.

Who knows how it’s all going to turn out, but what I do know,

is that God is equipping me.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”-1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

I came across this verse the other day and just about laughed.

That morning had just been one of thooose morning with Little Miss. Nothing seemed to work, the whining wouldn’t stop, and by 10am I was already counting down the hours until bedtime.

Sometimes, no all the time, God gives us these gentle reminders.
Reminders that life is actaully really, really good. And no matter what…we always have something to rejoice.

Does that mean it comes totally natural and easy to me?

Heck no, techno.

Not even in the slightest.

Let me expand on that super fun morning. I found Em playing in the dogs water, and not just playing in it, but soaking wet. Less than 20 minutes later I hear her drop something. Turns out I had left my drink on a table and she got it. Pop everywhere. She fussed almost the entire way on our walk, and when we got home, she was super mad I wouldn’t let her outside with Duke.

But then.

I turned the corner and she just looked up and gave me the biggest grin known to man.
I didn’t do anything, I didn’t say a word. She just looked up and smiled at me.

Now, I realize this won’t work later in her life. I know this mostly from trying it myself with my own mother. But right now, it totally works.

I found praise in that smile. In those cheeks I still want to eat off everyday. In the way that I can make her smile like that.
I gave thanks.

I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life (wait, am I an adult?) wondering what on earth God’s will for my life is. I think sometimes as Christians we’re worried we’ll miss that door or that opportunity if we aren’t careful. As if God has one thing for our life and that’s it, and if we miss it, than tough luck.

I’ve had it wrong for a really long time. That God’s will for my life is this big huge event. This big huge job. This big huge thing.

But that’s not the case. God’s will for our life is for us to praise Him, to rejoice in everything He’s given and done for us, to give thanks in everything, and to love on people.

I can do those things. I can really, really do those things.

“How cool is it that the same God, Who created the mountains, and oceans, and galaxies, looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too?”

This quote blew me away the other day.

I was scrolling through Facebook and it was one of those “so and so liked this photo from this page that shared it from their sister”. Which I have to be honest and say I hate that Facebook does, let me like things in peace without you blabbing it to the world.
Moving on.

But this one made me so happy to see.

I forget this a lot. I think it’s the whole being a mom thing now, I don’t think about me, well ever anymore. And this isn’t in a complaining way. I’m healthy and happy. But I don’t take time to sit and realize that the God of the universe took as much care in making me as He did the oceans and every piece of sand you find in them.

Boom.

I think about Em this way. This perfect tiny human that God created by hand. To be beautiful and wonderful. Created to be my daughter. Put on this earth for me to love the crap out of.
When I was pregnant my favorite thing to do was to google “Baby at (whatever week we were on) weeks”. I was fascinated by this tiny human growing inside of me. When her eyes developed and her nose, and her toes and fingers. All of it God had been forming for a very long time.

And He did the same with me.

As a mother I always hear how important it is to “take time for myself”, which yes I hear you. It’s usually to get my nails done, or brush my hair, or if I’m feeling super crazy, get a shower in.

But what if mothers, we decided that the only thing we needed to do was to spend some time with the Creator of the Universe. The same one that placed the oceans into the world, and placed each star in the sky.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never left my time with the Lord thinking, “Gosh that really sucked. I don’t feel better at all”.

So breathe in this beautiful truth:

The God that made your beautiful babies, took just as much time and care into making you.

Me, you, our babes. We were all created by God. The Holy and perfect God.

Who made us Holy and perfect.

It’s been a heavy couple of months.
A heavy, heavy couple of months.

As a mom, I’ve found myself more often then not saying, “Why and how is this the world I have to raise babies in? And how am I supposed to do that?”
I’ve watched the news cover shooting after shooting (and before we go on, I want to make it clear that I do not think this is about guns) and wondered, “But why do they hate us/them/him/her, so much?”

And then I’ve logged on, and so many time off, of social media. We’ve got a lot to say these days, and as we should.
I know I do.

I have a brother in the police force. So no, I don’t support a movement that’s calling for his head on a silver plater. That’s not peacefully protesting, instead throwing bricks at the police.
I live in the town that underwent the largest terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. I cried and did what I could to show support to the humans affected. No, I don’t think it was just about one “type” of people. I saw humans, that’s it.

As a country we’ve been divided. By the media and the President. Being told that an event that took place was because of xyz, when in reality it was just because of hate. Because someone decided that acting on that hate was a good idea. You can hop on Facebook at any time of the day now and get everyones opinion on anything.

And I want to make it clear, that I think that’s ok. We’re allowed to share our opinion.

But it’s how we do that. I’ll be 100% honest and say that I am struggling with anger right now at recent events. I’m mad. I’m mad that the people who protect us day in and day out are being portrayed like the enemy. I’m mad that I had to listen to my little sister cry to me for 45 minutes the night of the Dallas shootings as her husband was still out on duty. I’m mad that people are making this just about guns. I’m mad that recent events aren’t being told in total honesty, that there is so much of these stories we don’t know. I’m mad that we can’t all just come together and say ENOUGH.

That it doesn’t have to be about skin color. Or religion. Or sexual preference.

We can disagree with each other. You can totally think it’s all about guns. You can think I’m full of it. That’s fine. But we have to start being ok with the fact that we aren’t all right all the time, and that there are people with different opinions than us.

Surely we can change.

Surely we can figure out how to get out of this mess we’ve put ourselves in. Because if we want to point fingers, we can. But we have to all stand in front of the mirror and point to ourselves first.

The only answer, and when I say the only, I mean the only answer. 
Is Jesus.

You want a “movement” that means nothing but love, and peace. That’s Jesus.

The One Who came to change it all. To make us all one. To show the world that love will always conquer hate.

I’ve got some work to do. I’ve got to let some of this anger go because I know it’s not helping. It’s not doing anything.

Jesus came so that this crazy, messed up world we live in, can make a little sense.

And that’s what I clinging to these days.

We’ll make it through, you guys. We will.
But.

We have to start with Jesus.

Where there is hope, love, peace, courage, strength, and forgiveness.

I’ve figured out that we have to start just looking to Him. Reading in the Word about His life and how He handled things. How God placed Him on this earth, to live a life worthy of mimicking. How God created Him to come, and to die for our sins. All of them. To come and remove hate. To let love reign. Jesus is the remedy.

I’ve started taking Em and Duke for a walk in the morning and this morning I put on The Remedy album by David Crowder.
And listened to the song Surely We Can Change.
Here are the lyrics:

“And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change”

Y’all. That’s some good stuff.

We need grace and serenity and braveness and change. So much change.

And we do that through Jesus. Even as I type this I wonder where to start. And I think it’s an easy answer. Love. We have to get back to loving on each other. Truly loving on each other. Race, religion, sexual preference, occupation aside. Love.

The world’s about to change.

And it’s up to us to make sure that the change that comes is more Jesus. Less hate.